Baby Number 2, Is there ever a right time?
I always thought I would have my children close together in age. It was just something I assumed would happen. I had the idea of getting all the newborn sleepless nights out of the way. Making the most out of all the toys bought and clothes gifted. As Baby wasnt planned it threw everything up in the air. Was it too soon to be starting a family? We hadnt planned on having a child at that time, it sort of just happened. I had no choice in the matter, this baby was on its way and so I embarked onto the journey that is motherhood.
(Babies first night)
But now, I have the chance to plan when we have our second child. I can think about the timings, I can think about the age gaps and hopefully if we are blessed again, a little brother or sister would come along. Now I have the luxury of planning, I cant even comprehend when we should or shouldnt. Having had the choice taken away from me the first time round I just went along for the ride. We re-worked our lives and made the best out of the situation. I made quick and snap decisions about not returning to work, what cot to buy, what pushchair to use. It seemed so much easier because I had to, there was no time to plan, the baby was on its way. Being blessed with the luxury of time is becoming more of a hindrance than a joy.
I now find myself thinking that If I got pregnant now, there would be a nice 2 years age gap. That seems like a good difference to me, but then I throw all sorts of curveballs into the mix. We want to visit my parents in Australia, do I want to be pregnant making that journey? Do I want to have a very young baby, a toddler and a 9 year to handle on a 22 hour plane trip? What about going on holiday and just having the pleasure of Baby being a toddler, running around and actually wanting to explore the swimming pool? Would that be wise with the pending doom of morning sickness?
Then theres the financials. Could we really afford another baby now that I have no maternity pay to fall back on? Do I need the symptoms when I am trying to grow a business? Having just got my house how I like it, do I want to go through all the drama of switching the kids rooms around?
Has having the chance to plan made me somewhat selfish?
Because to me reading this back makes me sound just that. So many superficial questions and thoughts make me wonder whether I am ready. Ready to grow our family, ready for the newborn stages and sleepless nights.
But then there is the daydreams of imagining just what Little L and Baby would be like with another brother or sister. I can imagine Little L would be just as protective, if not more so with a little sister. I can envision Baby stroking their little faces just like he does with me when hes being affectionate.
I know deep down that I am ready though, when the time is right, or when the stork decides. I cant wait to add to our family, I imagine that I will be a mum of boys, stood there on the pitch lines at football matches, screaming at the top of my voice at the referee about rules I dont fully understand. Or I might be blessed with a little girl, and then I hope for shopping trips and girly chats. Oh and pink princess dresses. Who knows? I think I ask myself all these silly questions because this time I have the opportunity to make an informed decision and not just an emotive one.
It goes back to that question for many families, is there ever a right time for baby number 2 or 3 or 4? Is it best to just let nature take its course? It did no harm for me the first time round, I wouldnt change a thing about the last two years.
Did any of these questions cross your mind when you were thinking of having another baby?