Our Ectopic Pregnancy story
Last week I wrote the hardest post I have ever had to write, but then I didnt realise what was in-store for our little family. Last week I explained how we had unfortunately lost our very much wanted baby by an early miscarriage. I would have been 7 weeks pregnant.
We thought it was all over, a scan showed there wasnt anything there, and with the heavy bleeding and pain experienced the midwives explained that our baby had gone.
But on the evening of Saturday 17th October I didnt feel too well. And then there was the pain again.
The pain was on my left side and having been diagnosed with a unicornuate uterus on my right side I genuinely thought the pain had nothing to do with the recent pregnancy. I wished I had gone with the instincts of both myself and The Ls Papa and gone to hospital earlier but we were due for a final blood test on the Sunday morning. So I decided to try and grin and bear the pain through the night.
I arrived on Sunday having been previously been sick with the pain and immediately were met with concerned faces.
One emergency scan later on my left side showed the pregnancy that everyone had been missing these last few weeks but sadly growing in my fallopian tube.
The next 24 hours were extremely difficult. At half past 10 on the sunday evening I went down for key hole surgery and the pregnancy was removed along with the tube on my left side.
This week has seen me deal with the physical and emotional recovery of losing a baby for a second time.
The week before we had grieved and come to terms with what had happened and then we were right back in the thick of things and now not only is the emotional pain a hard pill to swallow but physically I am frustrated because everyone has had to do everything for me.
I wanted to explain my absence once again from the blog. I feel really stupid for believing I had miscarried when in actual fact it was an ectopic pregnancy all along. But then again you can only go from what the professionals say and thats all we did.
As a family we are devastated once again but as each day goes by the physical pain is getting easier, I am becoming more mobile and slowly the tiredness is easing.
Im not quite sure how to answer that just yet. It seems every blogger I follow and watch on Youtube is pregnant. It seems everyone around me is enjoying their lives and I kind of feel like I have halted. I have hit the pause button and just taking each day as it comes.
There is a silver lining, a few actually. Those are the things I am clinging on too.
You may have noted earlier on in this post I mentioned how my pain was on the left side. I actually have a different anatomy than originally diagnosed and so for the third and final time we now know exactly what that is. I have two wombs, an ovary to each and a tube to each although the left tube has since been removed in surgery.
My right womb is my stronger womb. This was the womb I carried to full term with Little L and everything remains in tact there so there is no reason why we cant have any more children in the future if we decide to do so.
And finally me and The Ls Papa have made a big decision which will all be revealed on the blog next week but let me just say it has been the most welcomed distraction and something to be hugely excited about so watch this space.
Thanks for baring with me and thanks for the ongoing emails, comments and overwhelming support we have had.
I am hoping to get back to some normality next week and try to move forward, take the button off pause and start living again.
Like I said in my last post, you must always hunt out the bright spots in life.