Ectopic Pregnancy recovery The first few days

I realise that this post will only be worth reading to someone who is or has just been through an ectopic pregnancy like myself but since experiencing it I have realised that miscarriage and Babyoss isnt massively discussed. For me I wanted to know what was happening, and what was in store and sometimes I find hearing or reading real life experiences can better prepare you for things but I struggled to find much on this subject. I am hoping that writing about it might just help one other person, and if it does then something good has come from this.

I decided to try and keep a diary of how I was feeling. From the day I found out to the recovery process.

I hope it will help someone.

Day one Sunday 18th october.??

I have felt a sharp stabbing pain on my left side since last night. Its a sharp period style pain that can take my breath away at times. I didnt think it was related to our pregnancy because it was on my left side and I had already been told that I had miscarried. But I was rushed for an emergency scan this morning and after a lot of looking there was the pregnancy everyone had been missing these last few agonising weeks. Developing in my fallopian tube. The pain is being caused by the tube rupturing.

I was advised that there was two treatments for ectopic pregnancy. Medicated as an outpatient by injections or by key hole surgery.

Unfortunately for me I had no choice but the surgery.

I have been sat in this hospital bed for a number of hours now, with the promise of being next on the emergency list. But I just cant seem to think of anything else other than how I got to this point and why wasnt it spotted sooner. My ectopic pregnancy story just seemed like a blur, it didnt feel like it was happening to me and if it wasnt for this pain Im experiencing I am not sure I would believe it.

They have promised to be able to tell me finally what my anatomy is, they have assured me everything will be ok, but now I must say good bye to The Ls Papa and Little L.

I went in for surgery at 10.30pm.

Day two Monday 20th October

I remember waking up, and I remember going to sleep. Its a strange feeling. I had a bad reaction to the anaesthetic which made me sick. I remember not being able to move and begging someone to ring The Ls Papa because I just couldnt. I managed to call him at 6am this morning, and I cried.

I am in so much pain but this time it is on my right side. It reminds me of how I felt after my c-section with Little L. I cant have any visitors until after lunch but as all my observations are great they have said I can go home today. I dont quite know how I am going to as getting out of bed is taking me ages. But I also know I just want to be home with my family.

They have advised me that I have two wombs, one ovary to each and one tube to each although in the surgery the left tube has been removed as it had ruptured.

I am also assured that my fertility hasnt been effected too much and my right womb is my strongest. I carried Little L to full term and their??is no reason why I cant have children in the future.

Right now though I am not sure I even want to try again.

All I am focusing on at this moment is emptying my bladder to the right quantity twice. Then I can go home. Thats??all I want to do.

I keep getting upset but I am not sure any of this has really sunk in with me yet. I feel pain, but emotionally I just feel numb. I wish the physical pain would go away.

I cant have my anti-d injection until tomorrow so it looks like I am making one more trip back here but then that should be me done. I have been told to take it easy, not to drive whilst in pain or taking codeine (which is what I have been prescribed for the pain) and rest. Rest. Its easier said than done. All I want to do is juts get back to normal, but I cant even do that.

I went home at 6pm to a dominos takeaway and The Apprentice on catch up.

Day three Tuesday 21st October

It was a real struggle to get any sleep. I just cant get comfortable. It also was a struggle to get out of bed this morning. But I managed it with help and support.

I knew I needed to get up, and get dressed to get back to the hospital for my Anti-D injection. I hate those injections so much but today it was surprisingly easy. Perhaps I am just getting used to all these needles and interference.

The pain is hard but it feels like muscle pain. It hurts to laugh and sneeze, just like it did with my c-section. Emotionally I still dont think it has sunk in at all. Everything feels like a blur, like it hasnt happened to me. Honestly if I didnt feel the pain I wouldnt believe it was me.

But it is me, and I am here again feeling like a failure.

Why do I feel like I have failed? I didnt ask for this to happen, I didnt do anything to make it happen.

I am trying to rest but watching everyone do things for me is really driving me insane.

I just want to get back to normal, but I know I need to just take each day as it comes.

Keep positive, time is going to make this better.